Post-Birthday Incident Breakdown

This isn't about blame, I want to say that up front.  I'm not upset at any one person (except possibly myself) so if any of this feels directed at you, dear reader, that's between you and your conscience.

I hate having a birthday on Valentine's Day.  When the dreaded 14th falls in the middle of the week, that usually gives me two weekends to pick from to declare Birthday Activity, but when it's on Friday or Saturday it completely eclipses my birthday and absorbs everyone who I might have done things with into it's terrible, pink, candy-hearted machinations.  With everyone having their plans for Valentine's Day – even the single people, it appears, were having counter-Valentines celebrations of sorts – that left nobody to do anything with me.

The last few months have really been rough for me.  Between October's "events", Josh's death, repeated delays with important pending legal matters, the break up with Lin, Sammy bouncing between being best kid ever and some sort of psycho manipulative sociopath child beast… I've burnt up just about all my action and hit points.  I wanted to do something, but I didn't have the energy to organize anything, so I put out the open call that I would love it if people came up and hung out on Saturday night.  Spend time with me.  Maybe get drunk, watch movies, play video games, whatever.

Nobody answered.

Jacque was there, but her work wouldn't give her time off so she had to be in bed by like… 930.  So I wound up, on my birthday night, sitting home alone, drinking and watching Rifftrax with the cat.  It may sound nice, but it was not at all even a little bit what I had wanted.  

I was incredibly disappoint.  I was hurt.  I was alone and sad.  I kinda still am.

So I obviously did something wrong in my approach to this, for it to have wound up as catastrophically bad as it did.  I spoke up, I said what I wanted, nobody responded… so it's not like the whole "we're not psychic" thing.  How can I stop this from happening next year?  Without having to do it, with my own hands, how can I make sure that people remember me, and want to do things with me, in favor of the stupid holiday?

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10 Responses to “Post-Birthday Incident Breakdown”

  1. Andrew Borntrager February 15, 2015 at 2:28 pm #

    It's simple, really. We kill the Valentine!

    Sorry, stupid joke on serious post.

    That is pretty shitty. Having a birthday on any holiday sucks, but I can imagine the double suck of this stupid one. I'd just officially change your birthday and from now on celebrate your birthday on Feb 7 or something. I really don't know that you can change other people. Valentines day is the most self-centered holiday ever. It's the one day of the year where everyone acts like it's their birthday and everyone should just pay attention to them. How could anyone compete with that?

    Sorry. I know it's not encouraging. Happy birthday yesterday, man. Sorry it sucked. If I didn't live halfway across the country you coulda partied with me. I don't celebrate stupid invented holidays anyway. But everyone deserves some fun on their birthday!

  2. Jim Hanson February 15, 2015 at 2:29 pm #

    I have considered formally relocating to a different day. But I don't know how one does that…

  3. Andrew Borntrager February 15, 2015 at 2:37 pm #

    Well you could go the really difficult route and change your identity and get a fake birth certificate and everything.

    Or you could go the lazy route and next year on like Feb 4 or something announce to your friends that you are celebrating your birthday on Feb 7 from now on and just roll with it. lol.

  4. Hilary Hatch February 15, 2015 at 2:54 pm #

    My lack of celebration with you had nothing to do with Valentine's Day. I was just completely wiped out from the past week in Alabama.

    If there had been some sort of planned event, I might have tried to drag myself there, because I had actually planned our return from Alabama in order to be here for your birthday celebrations. But no specific plans were forthcoming, and then when I glanced at the internet it sounded like you didn't feel like having any plans. So I was honestly kinda relieved to just stay home in my PJs, because I was freaking exhausted. I had no idea that what you were actually saying was that you wanted people to come spend time with you, I really thought you wanted to just write the whole thing off.

  5. Jim Hanson February 15, 2015 at 3:04 pm #

    I had said it several times earlier in the week, you probably missed them due to being 'bama bound. Also, I explicitly did all these interactions over on FB too, because after the pokemon from a few months back one of the feedback suggestions I got was to use FB more to connect with my actual local friends, and not just the better quality but further afield people of G+.

  6. Mike Dellheim February 15, 2015 at 3:06 pm #

    I would have done things if I didn't live in another state, sorry… but also I was up until about 3 getting the V-day Special finished and then, well, I mostly did nothing that entire day myself.

    … also my birthday, which doesn't fall on a holiday, was ALSO spent completely alone so… yeah… >.>

  7. Hilary Hatch February 15, 2015 at 3:29 pm #

    Maybe just text me directly? There's no guarantee I'll see things on G+ or the face mess.

  8. Jason Dunstan February 16, 2015 at 11:06 am #

    My birthday's on January 3, like a week and a half after Christmas, so I can relate. I usually just got a held-back Christmas gift for my birthday.

    Seems you're in a contest with me to see who can have the lousiest 2015. But you still have at least one significant other AND a job, and you didn't piss off TWO of your best friends so much that they won't even speak to you, so I'm "winning", so far. :P

  9. Marsha Barnes February 16, 2015 at 12:04 pm #

    My mother's birthday is also the 14th, so you are not alone. We take a family approach to it – spend the day doing something she chooses, dinner, etc…

    Only once in my life did I actually have a boyfriend on V-Day – it really didn't go well (he basically ignored me) which was explained the next day, when I became single after a lovely conversation about how he was thinking of breaking up with me, but wanted to consult with his friend first to see if it was for the right reasons.

    I packed my stuff and went home. If that was his thought process, then it was already over except for the wake.

    So – the 14th has always been Mom's Birthday, with a side benefit of exchanging small gifts with any family member present – candy and/or flowers and/or other items.

    All of the birthdays in my immediate family growing up are near holidays – Dad's is a week after Father's Day, my sister's is July 3rd, and mine is Dec. 30th. Making a birthday special in some way, regardless of when it occurs, is something that requires the right mindset.

  10. Darren Jones (Bilco69) December 7, 2015 at 10:09 pm #

    I know exactly his you feel. Mine us Feb 15th and get same problems. I now never even mention my birthday to friends (with some even not knowing when my birthday is). Being single around Valentine's day is bad enough without everyone saying happy birthday – I don't feel happy at all

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